Originally posted 9/14/2020
Welcome back to Mental Health Monday! Today we’re continuing our discussion from last week focusing on mental health basics and depression.
Many mental health diagnoses occur on a spectrum, which sometimes gets confusing to those who don’t have much experience. All depressed people are not suicidal. All suicidal people are not depressed. All people with anxiety are not introverted. All introverted people do not have anxiety. All people with ADHD do not respond to distractions in the same way. Hopefully you get where I’m going here…individual people are just that—individual. There is no “one size fits all” about any diagnosis. Your experience is yours. Mine is mine. And both are valid and ok.
My experience with depression throughout my adult life has mostly allowed for me to continue to function in my day to day life. It is a struggle at times, and I know when I need to be patient with myself and when I need to kick myself in the butt and keep going. I am fortunate in that. There are times when I feel like calling in sick to work and I absolutely refuse to because I know that it will start me down a path that is less healthy (side note—I do my best to stay home when I am sick with something contagious. I am not promoting that anyone go to work sick!) There are also times when I know that I should be exercising more, eating better, and generally taking better care of my physical health needs (like showering regularly), and I know that I need to be patient and do what I can do. Forcing myself, judging myself, or trying to ignore the feelings I’m having will only make things significantly worse.
Sometimes things outside of my direct control make depression more of a factor in my world. One example is chronic pain. I have degenerative disc disease and spent 4 years with pretty significant back pain before I had surgery. That was a super tough combination with depression. It was hard to keep believing that I would feel better, and extremely humbling to have to rely on other people for assistance with basic tasks. I quickly learned that pain medication (which generally makes me feel pretty sick anyway) was NOT a good mix with my depression. So, Tylenol & Ibuprofen only! Other life events have made depression a bigger consideration for me: divorce (my parents and my own), my kids struggling through various life stages, graduating from college (both times!), job related stress. All of these make a lot of sense as they cause additional emotions in my world which often don’t play well with the other things I feel.
At other times, there has been seemingly no situational cause. Life can be good. Things can be fairly status quo. At those times, I am more directly reminded that mental health diagnoses are often chemical imbalances. Depression is a physiological issue, not just an emotional issue. I don’t always see it coming but, I certainly can’t miss it once it starts to come to the forefront. There doesn’t have to be a triggering event. Sometimes it just is what it is. That is another reason why it is so important to be patient with ourselves at those times.
And now for the discussion topic that we have all been waiting for: depression and the pandemic! There is not a mental health diagnosis that has thrived during the pandemic. There was no training, no warning, and no way for us as human beings to understand what it was going to be like to do through something our generations have never been through before. Isolation is hard. Virtual relationships are hard. Virtual learning is hard. Grocery delivery is hard. Not being able to find toilet paper (even when you don’t really need it but someone says that everyone should stock up??) is hard. Nothing about this time in our history has been easy. We are generally spending WAY more time with our immediate family than any of us are accustomed to and having WAY less routine when we do it. That alone is enough to make anyone struggle. Those with mental health diagnoses, those who live alone, those who don’t have extra resources, have struggled even more. So little of this is anything we can wrap our minds around—especially as we are seeing that it is lasting so much longer than anyone ever imagined. It is hard, and it is ok to say that it is hard.
If you or someone you love has a mental health diagnosis, know that you are seen, you are heard, and there are those who have an understanding for what you go through each day (another side note—I do everything I can to never say “I understand” because so often we don’t truly understand, we just don’t know what else to say) We will get through this by relying on those we love and trust and seeking support and assistance when we need it. No stigma, no judgement, just doing the best we can to make it from day to day.
Thanks for reading! 😊 EW