Category: Mental Health

A New Chapter

I left my full-time job about a month ago. I had been with the same company (more or less…) for 2 months short of 16 years. During that time, I held 4 roles, supervised dozens of employees, and survived an acquisition. I went from being in one office full time to traveling between 2 offices and then traveling among 5 offices and then mostly working from home except for monthly site visits. This stage in my career saw me recovering from a divorce, raising my kids, surviving the pandemic as an “essential worker,” and recovering from a stroke. Many of the lessons I have learned about leadership, both what to do and what not to do came from this job. I have grown as a person and as a leader as a result.

It’s a strange experience when leaving a work-from-home job. On my last day, I finished tying up the last of the loose ends and then shut down my computer. There was no boxing up my office, saying goodbye to my coworkers, or walking out of the building. I had said goodbye to some folks in person in the week prior to leaving, and some of my team had a virtual meeting full of goodbyes, but at the final moment, it was strange to just get up from my desk and walk to my kitchen. The primary closure came when I didn’t log back in to my computer after the weekend. Just like that, I was done.

Before any of you think that I just went crazy and quit my job, I didn’t. It was intentional and with a plan that was over a year in the making. In May, 2024, I knew that my current job was not where I needed to be for several reasons. I spent some time brushing up my resume and looking for other positions, but that was yielding only frustration. (from my fellow job hunters, can I get an Amen!!) As I was trying to work through the stress and frustration, I had a crazy thought of going back to my degree and what I had been intending to do when I graduated 15 years prior. Maybe, just maybe I could go into professional counseling and marriage & family therapy!

The first hurdle in that plan was figuring out if my degree still met the requirements for licensure, which, thankfully, it did. I then had to find someone who would take a chance on me by being my licensure supervisor even though I was 15 years past graduation. I contacted one of my former instructors who has a therapy practice in town, and she was willing to give me a shot!! Then, I spent the next 3 months studying for the National Counseling Exam, which is required to get a provisional license. In August, I passed on the first try, despite the guy sitting next to me that was driving me crazy by coughing and hacking the whole time (who, come to find out, had Covid, and was kind enough to share!). With the exam (and Covid) behind me, I just needed to jump through the hoops of submitting my paperwork and fees to get my provisional license. My provisional license came in October, and then I was on my way!

From October, 2024 to May, 2025 the therapy practice referred as many clients as possible to me to establish my client base. The tough part about being provisionally licensed is that there are very limited insurance companies that allow billing. This means that I have mostly been referred clients who are willing to private pay. By February, I was starting to fill up my evening hours with clients while spending my days doing my full-time job. I was consistently working 12-14 hours a day between both jobs. At the end of May, I hit a breaking point where I realized that I was struggling to do both jobs well. We crunched some household finance numbers, I talked with my supervisor (who is one of my dearest friends—and not just due to workplace trauma bonding!), and I put in my resignation.

So, here’s to a new chapter! I’m finally what I want to be when I grow up—3 months before I turn 50! It is scary. It is rewarding. It is stretching me in ways I haven’t been stretched before (I’m looking at you, insurance billing!!). It is a much slower pace, which is taking some getting used to.  I’m excited for my caseload to grow so I’m working full-time again. In the meantime, I’m trying to soak up learning opportunities and trying not to stress about not having a predictable salary. All in all, life is good.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

Transform

Originally written 1/1/2022

My word of the year for 2021 was Transform. As usual, I had no idea where that would take me, and as usual I couldn’t have predicted even a little bit of it. The word transform found in Romans 12:2, which was my verse for the year:

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

At the start of 2021, I was weary of the political and social climate, the pandemic, and all things us versus them. My soul was crying out for renewal. I dove into Romans 12, which is so rich and full of practical lessons—those that are easy to read but hard to implement. Transformation is not fast—mentally, physically, or spiritually.

As we continued through 2021, I learned that my job role was going to change due to an acquisition—more ways to transform! I wanted my team to be well prepared for new leadership, policies, and practices while still maintaining the standards that we should. I met with my direct reports to study leadership by going through Adored: Be the Leader Your Team Needs You to Be by Dan Owolabi. I wanted to see their leadership transformed so their teams would thrive. I soon learned that my journey for transformation wasn’t as contagious as I would have hoped. However, my team read through the book, answered my questions, and dutifully met every other Tuesday.

Then, came the literal renewing of my mind through my stroke. I knew that words were important to me—they were the currency by which performed nearly all of my job roles: teaching, problem solving, and behavior support to name a few. However, I couldn’t fathom the frustration of learning how to form words, make sense of sentences and paragraphs, and simply conveying my basic wants and needs. It was a transformation that I couldn’t have foreseen and that still feels surreal at times. Thankfully, my language came back quickly with therapy (though my spelling is still horrible–thank goodness for spell check!!), but the shift in focus caused by my stroke will carry on.

I am so thankful to be transformed mentally, emotionally and spiritually through 2021. I am happy to ring in 2022 but grateful for the lessons of 2021.

Thanks for reading 😊 EW

Let’s Be Real

Originally posted 12/14/2020

Time for another Mental Health Monday. It has been a couple of weeks since I have last written. I have been working on a few things, but nothing is ready to post. I haven’t been writing like I was when I started. Work stress, life stress, and the stress that is 2020 has been getting to me over the last few weeks. I’ve been working long hours, not sleeping enough, exercising—but not as regularly as I would like, and just generally been stressed. I has been an ugly combination, really, especially in a time and place when I have to keep on keeping on. It is tough to be motivated to write about mental health, when my own is struggling—or maybe that is the perfect time. It is real. Things are getting to me. I didn’t start this blog because I have answers. I started it to be honest and real about what is going through my head. Whether that is memories of my grandmother—especially now that the memories are what I have of her in my life, spiritual discipline/faith questions, leadership lessons I am learning, or mental health questions, my motivation in writing was to be real. To write about myself—my thoughts, my studies, my experiences—and to be as honest and transparent about things as possible.

I feel guilty at times when I struggle. Though I think we can all agree that 2020 has been quite a dumpster fire and we’re ready to get past all that it has brought, I know that I really don’t have it as badly as many in my world. I have a full-time job that pays my bills—as an essential worker, I certainly haven’t lost hours, pay or job security in this crazy time. I have experienced loss, but my immediate family remains healthy and well. My kids are staying healthy and are able to continue college and employment. It might look different than any of us might want, but it is there. I have resources that I can share with others. I am immensely grateful for what I have, and I am very aware that things could be much worse. The perspective doesn’t make my struggles any less real or valid, but it definitely causes me to feel guilty at times.

If I were talking with anyone else, I would remind them to be patient with themselves, to allow for grace, and to utilize coping skills. I’m much better at seeing that for other people than I am for myself. I know that I need to give myself some grace and to remind myself that it is ok to struggle. Powering through it isn’t always the answer, though it often feels as though it is. I am actively trying to remind myself to extend the same grace to myself that I do to others. We’ll see how that goes.

If you or someone you know is struggling in this season—whether it is the holidays, Covid, 2020 as a whole, or some other life event, stress or emotion, feel free to contact me. Email, Facebook messenger, or a socially distant cup of coffee are all great ways to seek support and be real when real matters most. No one needs to struggle alone.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW 

Sleep—not enough, too much, tossing, turning…oh my!

Originally posted 12/1/2020

Welcome back to another mental health Monday (posting on Tuesday—sorry for the delay!). Today’s topic is sleep. Sleep and mental health go hand in hand. When our mental state struggles, our sleep patterns also struggle. Sometimes that means not getting enough sleep, and sometimes it means sleeping too much. I have most certainly seen both sides of the coin on sleep. I struggle to go to sleep, stay asleep and sleep restfully when I have a lot of stress at work, concerns with my kids/household/ finances, or am processing through a tough decision. This is very different than the nights that I way up with someone on my mind to take time to pray for—that happens in my world as well, but it is a much more peaceful time of awake than the stewing and stressing I do when I’m anxious about something and struggling to put it away for the night. Those nights are tough. Any sleep I do get feels like a hard-fought battle that leaves me even more tired than when I went to bed.

The flip side to that is the times when sleeping is the only thing I am motivated to do. As I have gone through times of depression in my past, I have learned that the greatest gift I can give myself is to get up and get dressed. In a year of working from home more than ever before, that might mean going from my night pajamas to my day pajamas, but changing clothes is important to my frame of mind. I have learned that staying in bed brings more staying in bed, which very quickly becomes tough for me to motivate myself out of. And, if I am honest, the sleep I get when I enter those times isn’t any better than the sleep when I’m stressed. It is just a lot more lying in bed.

Healthy sleep patterns and sleep routines are crucial to our overall wellbeing, both mentally and physically. Sleep rests our body and mind, rejuvenates our organs and muscles, and gives our multiple, complex systems a chance to grow and strengthen. It is a time when we are out of our own way so our body can do what it needs to do. Our coping skills, immune system, and overall sense of self all benefit from appropriate sleep. Though anyone who knows me well has heard me say that I will sleep when I’m dead because there aren’t enough hours in the day, this couldn’t be further from the truth for my physical and mental health.

In a world of constant input, it is often hard to wind down and get to bed with enough time to get the appropriate amount of sleep. As with other habits, it takes having a plan and being intentional about sticking with it. What that looks like is different for each person. I like to take time to read before I go to bed, sometimes sipping on a cup of tea, sometimes journaling a little bit. Having a time of quiet helps me to fall asleep faster once I am in bed. Experts say that rigorous exercise isn’t a great idea right before bed, but the slow stretching and intentional breathing of an evening yoga routine can be a great way to end the day. Some people enjoy relaxing in a bath to wind down. There are so many options—and different days can end different ways. As long as the activity is calming and doesn’t add stress, it can be a part of the winding down routine. What is important is building the habit to build toward great sleep.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

Exercise and Mental Health

Originally posted 11/23/2020

Welcome to another Mental Health Monday. I started exercising two weeks ago after a much longer hiatus than I would like to admit. I have definitely been less healthy during the pandemic than I could or should have been. I am working to regroup and remember how important healthy choices are to overall mental health. As someone who has struggled with keeping depression and anxiety at bay, making positive choices with exercise, sleep and nutrition are critically important to keeping me going in a healthy direction.

Since I started exercising again, I am sore. Honestly, I hurt. My muscles are heavy and angry. I am trying hard to remind myself that soon it will start feeling better. I know from the times that I have exercised before that I will start to crave the exercise because it makes me feel better both physically and mentally. There are a lot of reasons for this. The endorphins and increased oxygen that flood my body when I exercise, the improvements to my sleep, and the motivation it gives me to improve my nutrition and other habits all contribute to overall positive improvements to my mood. As my mood stays more positive, I am better able to cope with stress, and the positive cycle continues.

There is so much research on this topic, looking at it from every possible angle. I have read some amazing articles about the benefits of exercise to mental health, the chemical reactions in the body that occur with regular activity, and, of course, the physical benefits that come with exercise. As fantastic as the research is and as much as I appreciate the science behind those findings, what has an even stronger impact to me is how great I feel when I’m exercising regularly. There are days when I’m tired, when I’m not feeling it, when I try to talk myself out of it—but I always feel better if I push myself through that feeling and get it moving.

The benefits of exercise grow even more when I have others who are working along with me so we can encourage each other. Walking with my bestie, biking and yoga with an amazing group of friends, or even just knowing that I am accountable to report my exercise for the day to one of my exercise buddies makes so much difference in my motivation and progress. Even in this time of social distancing, exercise doesn’t have to be a solo activity, and I am so thankful for that.

If you are struggling with your mood, do your best to get moving. Even if it is just a short walk, some stretching, a routine online, or an exercise video, any movement that increases the oxygen you are taking in and moves your muscles will lift you up—even if your muscles are a little grumpy as you get going!

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

(((HUGS)))

Originally posted 11/9/2020

Welcome back to Mental Health Monday!! Today I am talking about physical touch. As the pandemic has gone on longer than any of us were really prepared for, one of the biggest struggles that my family, friends, and likely many others are feeling the effect of is a decrease in physical touch. I haven’t always been a person who loves hugs. However, after becoming a parent and studying what a huge need physical touch is to the development of both children and adults, I began to change. Hugs have been commonplace in my personal world with my children and my close friends, as well as with my extended family members. In my professional world, I have also learned the benefit of physical touch in building positive relationships and deescalating potentially serious behavioral situations. Touch is a basic human need that builds trust, gives comfort, helps provide a sense of security, and just makes us feel better in tough circumstances. The pandemic is the toughest circumstance that many of us have been through—whether it is illness, job uncertainty, death, separation, or just exhaustion at how much our routines have changed and how “normal” feels anything but normal. At a time when many of us could significantly benefit from an encouraging hug or even a friendly handshake, we are living in a world of social distancing, touching elbows, and air hugs. For those who are huggers, that is completely insufficient. The huggers of the world are struggling, particularly the ones who live alone and don’t have a family, household, or “pod” of people who they are around regularly.

How do we address this? As I discussed a few weeks ago, it is critically important that we check in on those in our circle—the ones who make up our village. Investments of time, vulnerable conversations, and true listening aren’t substitutes for hugs, but they do help. Acknowledging those feelings as really and valid is important. As I have said in previous posts, my biggest heartache of my grandmother’s passing is that she died alone. Second to that is that I had to wait for 3 weeks before I could see my mother. When I finally got to see her, we were in masks, but we could see each other’s eyes while we talked and were able to share stories and just be in the same place. With others I have been able to spend time with over the last few months, conversations are deeper, and stories are shared—sometimes stories of struggles and sometimes moments of beauty, connection and memories made during this unprecedented time.

I look forward to a time when handshakes and hugs are common again. Until then, we need to convey our support in the ways that we have available to us.  (((Hugs))) to you all!

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

Burnout

Originally posted 11/2/2020

Welcome to another Mental Health Monday! Today’s topic is burnout. I have been doing quite a bit of studying and learning about burnout over the last few months as I am studying positive leadership. I have been dealing with some things in my work life that have caused me to question my leadership methods and skills, and I always believe that learning more can lead to finding solutions. However, in my moments of doubt over who I am as a leader and whether I am effective with those I lead, I have also found myself focused on ways to keep myself from burning out in a job that I love. I truly do love my job, but it is not easy. Working in middle management, I am a person who manages people, who manage people, who manage people, who care for people…my job is not simple. There are a lot of layers, which bring levels of communication, understanding (or misunderstanding!), and direction that can and often are fueled by layers of emotion. As I sit here writing on Sunday night, I am experiencing the feeling that I know is not unique—I feel the tension rising as I start thinking through and preparing for my work week. Again, I love my job, and I love learning about mental health and wellbeing—but I am not immune.

As I have been studying a bit about burnout, there have been several key features that I have come across. I have read articles in Psychology Today, read information from the Mayo Clinic, and am in the process of working through an amazing book entitled Burnout. The common features include physical and mental exhaustion, increased irritability/anger/frustration, and decreased compassion for those impacted by our work. These things are often caused by ongoing stress that doesn’t seem to have a resolution. Based on our current societal climate, this can describe just about anyone. However, those in jobs that require personal interaction, caring and compassion for others seem to be the hardest hit—or at least the most talked about among the current literature. This doesn’t have to just be in the professional/occupational fields—it also includes caregiving for family members, parenting, and relationships. We can experience burnout with those we love at times, just like we can experience burnout in jobs we love.

How do we combat burnout?

The first step is taking the time to recognize and acknowledge it. Once we recognize and acknowledge the feelings that could be indicators of burnout, it is important that we address them so we don’t get stuck in that pattern. The feelings of exhaustion, frustration, and decreased compassion can often lead to feeling guilty (how can I feel this way about someone/something I love?), which can make things even more complicated and can give us more to process.

As we process these feelings, we can then evaluate if there are any stressors that can be eliminated or decreased so we can focus on other things. Have we taken on a role that isn’t ours or could be delegated to someone else? Is there someone who isn’t doing their part that is putting more on us? Are there things we said yes to that aren’t a good fit with the rest of our role? We aren’t always able to diminish our stressors, but it is worth the time to evaluate to see if there is anything that could be adjusted or changed.

After we evaluate and eliminate unnecessary stressors, we can begin to process the stress itself. It is important to look at our coping skills, the things that refresh us, and the time management and margin in our lives to process our stress. This can take many different forms, such as: exercise, nutrition, deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, and engaging in our hobbies. We want to be sure that we don’t try to decrease stress by avoiding or diminishing it. Emotional eating, substance use, and engaging in unhealthy relationships are things that we might try, but ultimately this will cause more stress than it reduces.

Another key factor in combatting burnout is talking with others. Sometimes speaking our feelings out loud to another person can go a long way toward decreasing that stress. We need to be cautious with this—we don’t want to vent to the wrong person in our workplace or circle. The goal of these conversations is to decrease our stress, but we don’t want to increase the stress of others or create an unhealthy or difficult work or relationship environment. Handled well, it can be encouraging to others to hear that you are feeling what they might be feeling, building community and adding to the brainstorming power on how to address the stressors.

Burnout is becoming more and more prevalent in our society as we all push to accomplish more while also facing the uncertainties and unrest of our current culture. By calling it what it is and working to focus on what we are able to change, we can be healthier people and improve our work and home lives.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

How’s your Village?

Originally posted 10/26/2020

Welcome to another Mental Health Monday. This week my thoughts are on the supporters who help us when things are tough and celebrate with us when things are great. These are the folks we turn to when we need encouragement, motivation, and sometimes a brutally honest kick in the pants. Sometimes they are family, and sometimes they are friends who are as close as (or closer than) family. They are the ones we will call in the middle of the night—whether it’s to celebrate, cry, or ask for bail money 😊 They are our village—the community who helps us raise kids, encourages us to be healthy, and gets mad right along with us when we need a good vent session.

In our age of social media, it has often been said that we have access to more people, more relationships, more “supports” than we have ever had, and yet we are lonelier and more isolated than ever. We have so many conversations in 160 characters or less; social sound bites and cliché phrases rather than true support. We long for depth, mentorship, and belonging; but how do we get there? It is particularly difficult in our current climate of social distancing. Get togethers take even more intentionality than they did a few months ago—and, let’s be honest, we need them more now than ever!

So, who is in your village? Is it family, friends, neighbors, co-workers? Does it change over time or has it been the same people for as long as you can remember? Did they become a part of the village through genetics, common experiences, geography? What stories do you have to tell of what drew you together?

Over the past few weeks this has hit home even more to me as I have been walking through the loss of my sweet grandmother. I have had so much support from my dear friends, through cards, social media posts, gifts, and socially distant time around the fire pit. That support has given me the ability to be a support to my mom. Though the pandemic kept my mom and me apart for longer than we would have preferred (both before and after my grandmother’s passing), and my time with her last week looked different than it typically would—I cherish the time we had to share stories and process the emotions when we were able to spend time together in person. We had talked on the phone, shared countless texts, and even chatted some on social media—but nothing came close to the time we had in the same room. We needed it.

Whether it is with friends or family, connection to the ones who are dear to me feels more urgent. We need people. We need those we can trust to vent to, cry with, cheer with, and love on in all circumstances and seasons of our lives—folks we can just do life with. Those relationships are worth the time, energy and effort they take to build and maintain for the benefit of support, memories, and common ground we can share.

I challenge you this week to take some time and reach out to those in your village. You’ll be glad you did!

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

Mindfulness

Originally posted 10/19/2020

Welcome to another Mental Health Monday! In the midst of all
the chaos of our world right now, I wanted to give some time to one of my
favorite coping skills—mindfulness. We all have moments of mindfulness in our lives, sometimes when we don’t realize that is what we are doing. There are so many elements that can make up a practice of mindfulness, but it can also be very simple. Please understand that the purpose of mindfulness is not to be overly self-focused or self-absorbed; it is about taking a few moments to calm the chaos and focus in the moment. This helps lead to greater focus on the tasks at hand and the others around us. We need to remember that we can’t pour from an empty cup when we are trying to be who the others in our lives need us to be.A few simple mindfulness exercises that I use in my own life are mindful breathing, progressive relaxation, and five senses focus. There are several ways to go about each one, but here is an easy example of each:


Mindful breathing: Sit in a comfortable and neutral
position (some people do this lying down—if I attempt that, I will generally
fall asleep! 😊 ) Close your eyes. Take in a deep breath, filling your lungs and feeling the space created in your abdomen. If I am really struggling to focus, I will count as I inhale. This helps me to focus on my breath rather than anything else around me. Once you have fulling inhaled, pause for a second, feeling the space and fullness of your breath. Then, slowly breathe out, trying to take approximately the same amount of time breathing out
as you did breathing in. Taking even 6-8 breaths this way can help to refocus on the present and calm the chaos.


Progressive relaxation: Again, sit in a comfortable
and neutral position (I’m a little better at doing this one lying down, but
sometimes there is still a little napping!) Beginning with your toes, briefly
tense and scrunch them and then intentionally relax them. Pause to give attention just to your toes and what it takes to relax them. Next, move on to your whole foot—briefly tense and then intentionally relax, noting what it takes to relax your foot. Proceed like this up your legs (calf, knee, thigh), your backside, lower abdomen, middle abdomen, shoulders, upper arm, lower arm, wrist, hand, fingers, neck, jaw, cheeks, eyes and forehead. With intentional focus given to each part of the body in progression, the depth of relaxation will be greater. You can also start with the forehead and proceed downward. However, I find that I hold more tension in my upper body, so I choose to focus above my shoulders last. This is another practice that can be done in just a couple of focused minutes but can really decrease situational stress.


Five senses focus:  Another exercise that can be done anywhere
and in just a few minutes. Wherever you are and whatever you are currently
doing, take a moment to check in with your senses.


·        What do you see around you? We often look but don’t really see. Taking time to look at the details of your surroundings helps to focus you in the present moment.


·  What do you hear? There are so many sounds around us all the time that we think we are blocking out. However, sometimes our brains are working in the background to process them, increasing our tension without us recognizing why. Taking time to acknowledge those sounds for a moment lets your brain process and then (hopefully) move on from them.


·        What do you smell? Strong smells, both good and bad, rarely escape our notice. However, there are usually several smells happening all at once. We just process the strongest. Take a moment to process all that you can smell where you are at that moment.


·       What are you touching? Not just the things you are actively touching, but what about passive touch? Your clothes, where you are sitting, the floor, the air around you—all of those things are touching you and giving sensory input to your brain. Focus on each for a moment and let it process.


·     What do you taste? This is one of my favorites! In addition to just loving to eat, taking the time meals are eaten at work or while I’m in the middle of things. Nutrition experts have said for years that this is not the best way to eat—it often leads to overeating because we aren’t thinking about what we are doing. The practice of slowing down to eat mindfully allows us to truly experience what we are eating and helps us to be aware of when it stops tasting as good—an early signal that we are starting to get full. I once led a skills group where we ended each of our sessions with mindfully eating a piece of candy. The candy of choice was chocolate (there are just so many good things about it!!), but we also tried butterscotch, cinnamon (not a favorite for mindful eating!), caramels, and fruit flavored candy. It was fun to take that moment to fully experience each candy for all it could be.


As you look for ways to take small moments to rest and refresh in times of stress, hopefully these few exercises will come to mind, helping you focus on the moment and regroup to keep moving forward.


Thanks for reading! 😊
EW



Vigilance Fatigue

Originally posted 10/12/2020

Welcome back to Mental Health Monday. I am tired. 2020 has been more than anyone could ever have imagined on every possible level. Health and safety concerns are a daily topic of discussion, politics are divisive, those who I love and respect on all sides of every issue are speaking and behaving in ways that seem out of character. I know I am not alone in this. As a society, a culture, a world—we are all exhausted. Our endurance has been tested time and again, and many of us have had our fill of trials that some call character building. We are working hard to be vigilant as citizens, and vigilance has made us tired. We are out of adrenaline for it.

The adrenaline-based fight or flight response is supposed to be a short-term response to intense situational stress—not a long-term state of being. We can’t exist indefinitely in a survival state without running out of energy. Many of us who were trying new recipes, picking up new hobbies, and going deep with cleaning and organizing early in the year have run out of steam. It feels like thousands of meals have been cooked, new hobbies are difficult to focus on, and any remaining closets can stay cluttered—the motivation is gone.

Many people are getting from day to day by the sheer routine of it. Routine can be a normalizer in the midst of chaos. However, our routines look different. Work-life balance has taken on different meaning as many are trying to work, parent, teach, and maintain their homes at the same time and from the same space. There is no separation. As a working parent with children who have moved away from home during this time, my work-life balance is more distant. I support my adult children via text and video chat, providing the best reassurance I can from a distance. We are a family who thrives on hugs, and that is not an option when we need it most. The huggers of the world struggle in this time of social distancing. Air hugs and elbow bumps are not the same, especially with those we love who are not a part of our household. My son is in Chicago—a town that requires a 14-day quarantine for anyone coming from our home state. My mom, who is grieving the loss of her mom, is in the higher risk category. I have too much exposure through my job for it to be safe to possibly pass germs to her—and cases continue to rise where she is.

How do we combat this time in our lives? There is no easy answer. I am so thankful for technology that allows calling, texting, and video chats during our time of distance. It is not exactly what we want, but it is a step in the right direction. I can see my kids’ faces and know that they are there and are hanging in there. I see my dear friends in my driveway, enjoying a drink around the fire pit and some much-needed conversation. I try to be patient with myself and with others, understanding that there will be ups and downs in emotions, productivity, and focus. I do my best to take the opportunity to speak life into others, ensuring that they are seen and heard in the midst of the distance. There is comfort in knowing that the feelings that we are having are normal, and even expected at this time.

We might be done with the chaos of 2020, but it is not done with us. With patience and grace, we will make it through—and we will have stories to tell and lessons learned, whether we want them or not!

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW