Category: Mental Health

Dog Paws and Mental Health

Originally posted 9/28/2020

Welcome back to Mental Health Monday. Today’s blog is a little bit different. It is inspired by my most recent rescue dog, Trebuchet (Tre for short) Just for a little background, I live in a very animal loving and very weird household (said with love to all who inhabit it 😊 ) We currently have 3 dogs—Beau, Eros & Trebuchet and 2 cats—Katana and Claymore. Yep, that’s how we roll. All of our animals are rescues, and all of them have their own special traits as a result. We lovingly refer to them as our Island of Misfit Pets.

Today’s mental health thoughts come from my morning with Tre. Tre was rescued when he was just under a year old (the vet estimated 10-12 months). We believe that he had been a stray on the streets up until that time. Given his time on his own, he has high survival instincts and low trust. His social development is delayed, and he has very high attention needs. He has adapted pretty well to our crazy home, but there are still moments where it is very clear that he is skeptical of human interaction. The most obvious is when he is hurting in some way.

A few days ago, Tre started paying a lot of attention to one of his paws. I checked it out and saw that he had a small sore. It has continued to grow and develop into something that looked pretty rough this morning, so it was time for a call to the vet. Thanks to the pandemic, the vet only operates by curbside appointment or drop off. A previous injury and attempted nail trim taught us that drop off would be bad—they often result in undue trauma to him and to anyone who attempts to touch him when “his people” are not around. So, curbside it was. Lots of waiting in the car for a few minutes with a vet who advised Epsom salt soaks and a cone. Soaking a dog paw in warm Epsom salt water is a thrilling tale for another time—and he has already managed to Houdini his way out of the cone.

All of this to say, pets have an amazing way of changing our perspective. I woke up this morning semi-grumpy with allergy issues and a sore back from household projects and cleaning that have been done this week. I was planning on the day being one of pajamas, coffee, and doing as little as possible. Then along came Tre, who needed me to be a dog mom when he was hurting. My sore back no longer mattered. I was no longer grumpy. I was outside myself and thinking about his needs rather than my feelings in the moment. It wasn’t that my feelings weren’t valid and important—his needs were just more important. They got me out of my own way.

Sometimes we need to get out of our own way and see things outside ourselves. This doesn’t minimize our feelings; it just gives them a different perspective. The body of research on the positive impact on pets and mental health is significant. I hope to write more about this in future posts. Companionship, acceptance, belonging, and purpose can all come from having pets. Pets are also a fantastic sounding board—they love to listen and won’t give you unsolicited advice! There has been a significant increase in pet adoption during the pandemic. I hope that all the new pet parents will continue to provide good homes as life returns closer to normal. They need us—and we need them too.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

Stress, Worry & Anxiety

Originally posted 9/21/2020

Welcome back to Mental Health Monday! Today’s topic is worry and anxiety. Public health, personal/family health, finances, job security, relationships, injustice, discrimination, politics, and so many other hot topics are at the forefront of an unprecedented time in history. Each of these things individually would be stressful, but added together, they can be overwhelming. These are uncertain times, and with uncertainty come worry and anxiety.

Anxiety can look very different depending on the person and the situation. When I am teaching staff at work about how to recognize and de-escalate crisis in its earliest stages, I tell them to look for any change in behavior in the person with whom they are working. The same is true when looking at anxiety in oneself or in someone we are close to. Anxiety can be subtle, especially as it is first building. We might be struggling to focus—or hyper focused on one thought or idea. We might notice muscle tension or headaches or even an eye twitch. Stress and anxiety can mess with sleep patterns, eating patterns, interactions with others, and our interactions with ourselves.

How do we deal with uncertainty in our world? How do we walk through our day to day life without continuous stress and worry or feeling like we are trudging through deep snow or walking on sand (but not in a fun, beachy way 😉) ? As I have dealt with anxiety in my life, I have recognized a few things that can help:

Be patient

When I am finding that the stress of my life is impacting my day to day life, I first remind myself to be patient. Stress is real. Worry is valid. Anxiety is an acceptable response to stressful circumstances. Owning those feelings and thoughts as real can help me process through them in an intentional way. Taking the time needed to process what is causing the stress and whether or not the circumstances are things I can change or control is important. For those things I can change, I look at what is needed for change to occur. For those things that I can’t, I look at what I can do to handle things productively in the midst of my current circumstances.

Evaluate routine

During times of stress and anxiety, I find myself looking more closely at my routines. Have I gotten out of my typical routine and into “survival mode” to address my stressful circumstances? Sometimes the survival mindset causes more anxiety than it helps. Routine helps me to be intentional and grounded in my day to day world—ensuring that I am acknowledging and relying on the familiar at times when things are uncertain. When I am able to rely on my routine rather than simply surviving my day, I am better able to separate the stressful circumstances in my life from my life as a whole. I can remind myself that circumstances do not have to define who I am—a period of time is not the whole picture of life.

Find fun

Stress can be overwhelming and exhausting. Anxiety can bring frustration and negativity. Sometimes I just have to find some fun. As I am patient with myself and my emotions, I need to remember to look for things that make me laugh, help me feel refreshed, and get me out of my own head. Reading fun fiction, listening to music, watching movies, riding my bike, taking walks, and spending time with friends all help to get me outside myself and give perspective to my stressful circumstance being only a part of my reality. As cliché as it is—sometimes laughter is the best medicine.

Seek help

While it is important to recognize that all periods of stress and anxiety do not have to be a diagnosed “disorder,” it is equally important to recognize when we need additional help. We are complex beings and our feelings and emotions are complex. They occur on a spectrum, sometimes ebbing on their own and at other times needing more help to subside. I am so thankful that progress has been made in the stigma of mental health assistance, but I recognize that there is still a long way to go. Seeking counseling is not a weakness—and often it is more beneficial that expected. Medication can also be a positive step at times, even just in the short term or during a particularly difficult or stressful circumstance. While the prescription bottle comes with a label, it does not put a label on you.

If you or someone you know is experiencing anxiety to the point that it is having a negative impact on day to day life, do not be afraid to seek assistance. Talk to a doctor, a counselor, a mentor—someone you trust to provide guidance during this time. No one needs to struggle alone.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

Lessons From Depression Part 2

Originally posted 9/14/2020

Welcome back to Mental Health Monday! Today we’re continuing our discussion from last week focusing on mental health basics and depression.

Many mental health diagnoses occur on a spectrum, which sometimes gets confusing to those who don’t have much experience. All depressed people are not suicidal. All suicidal people are not depressed. All people with anxiety are not introverted. All introverted people do not have anxiety. All people with ADHD do not respond to distractions in the same way. Hopefully you get where I’m going here…individual people are just that—individual. There is no “one size fits all” about any diagnosis. Your experience is yours. Mine is mine. And both are valid and ok.

My experience with depression throughout my adult life has mostly allowed for me to continue to function in my day to day life. It is a struggle at times, and I know when I need to be patient with myself and when I need to kick myself in the butt and keep going. I am fortunate in that. There are times when I feel like calling in sick to work and I absolutely refuse to because I know that it will start me down a path that is less healthy (side note—I do my best to stay home when I am sick with something contagious. I am not promoting that anyone go to work sick!) There are also times when I know that I should be exercising more, eating better, and generally taking better care of my physical health needs (like showering regularly), and I know that I need to be patient and do what I can do. Forcing myself, judging myself, or trying to ignore the feelings I’m having will only make things significantly worse.

Sometimes things outside of my direct control make depression more of a factor in my world. One example is chronic pain. I have degenerative disc disease and spent 4 years with pretty significant back pain before I had surgery. That was a super tough combination with depression. It was hard to keep believing that I would feel better, and extremely humbling to have to rely on other people for assistance with basic tasks. I quickly learned that pain medication (which generally makes me feel pretty sick anyway) was NOT a good mix with my depression. So, Tylenol & Ibuprofen only! Other life events have made depression a bigger consideration for me: divorce (my parents and my own), my kids struggling through various life stages, graduating from college (both times!), job related stress. All of these make a lot of sense as they cause additional emotions in my world which often don’t play well with the other things I feel.

At other times, there has been seemingly no situational cause. Life can be good. Things can be fairly status quo. At those times, I am more directly reminded that mental health diagnoses are often chemical imbalances. Depression is a physiological issue, not just an emotional issue. I don’t always see it coming but, I certainly can’t miss it once it starts to come to the forefront. There doesn’t have to be a triggering event. Sometimes it just is what it is. That is another reason why it is so important to be patient with ourselves at those times.

And now for the discussion topic that we have all been waiting for: depression and the pandemic! There is not a mental health diagnosis that has thrived during the pandemic. There was no training, no warning, and no way for us as human beings to understand what it was going to be like to do through something our generations have never been through before. Isolation is hard. Virtual relationships are hard. Virtual learning is hard. Grocery delivery is hard. Not being able to find toilet paper (even when you don’t really need it but someone says that everyone should stock up??) is hard. Nothing about this time in our history has been easy. We are generally spending WAY more time with our immediate family than any of us are accustomed to and having WAY less routine when we do it. That alone is enough to make anyone struggle. Those with mental health diagnoses, those who live alone, those who don’t have extra resources, have struggled even more. So little of this is anything we can wrap our minds around—especially as we are seeing that it is lasting so much longer than anyone ever imagined. It is hard, and it is ok to say that it is hard.

If you or someone you love has a mental health diagnosis, know that you are seen, you are heard, and there are those who have an understanding for what you go through each day (another side note—I do everything I can to never say “I understand” because so often we don’t truly understand, we just don’t know what else to say) We will get through this by relying on those we love and trust and seeking support and assistance when we need it. No stigma, no judgement, just doing the best we can to make it from day to day.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

Lessons from Depression Part 1

Originally posted 9/7/2020

Hey there! It’s Mental Health Monday! Not sure if this will continue as a pattern, but as the first Monday I’m posting, it could be the start of a trend.

My background and training are in counseling. Psychology, human development, sociology, and relationship dynamics have always fascinated me. I have been told time and again that I can “read” people and see beyond the surface when I spend time with someone. It is a passion of mine to understand people. It is easier to be helpful when you understand.

There has always been a stigma surrounding mental health diagnoses, which often prevents people from seeking assistance when they need it. This has always frustrated me. There are so many diagnoses that are not obvious—with both physical health and mental health—it is sad that there is so much judgment associated with things that others can’t see. But, that is a post for another time…

While I have clinical understanding and professional experience with a number of mental health diagnoses, I have personal experience with depression. I was first diagnosed with depression after the birth of my youngest child. While her birth was smooth, the weeks and months that followed were difficult. I thought that I was handling things well, all things considered—everyone cries continuously when they are exhausted from caring for a newborn and a preschooler, right? Maybe, but it never hurts to seek help, either with counseling, medication, or a combination of both. I have done both throughout the course of my adult life.

I adore my counselor. She listens, provides perspective, challenges me to grow, recommends great books, and talks with me about professional growth as well. I can’t imagine not checking in with her like I do. At times, I have seen her weekly, but for the most part, I see her once a month as a time to stop, reflect, and process the stuff of life. Again, I highly recommend finding a fantastic counselor. Even without insurance, there are options for counseling—there are free clinics and those who have their rates on a sliding scale to assist anyone who might struggle to pay. Payment should never be a reason to avoid getting the help that you need!

I am thankful that I found an amazing counselor to work with the first time I was looking for someone to talk to. There are times that a counselor & client don’t mesh—whether it is for personality differences, different values/work view, or different counseling philosophy. And, if we are honest, sometimes it is because the person says things that we don’t want to hear or process in that moment. A savvy counselor will recognize that and adjust their approach, but it is also ok if the person is not the right fit. Try again—and keep trying until you find someone you trust and can truly talk to.

For those who might not be aware, counselors do not prescribe medications. They can recommend that you see someone who can prescribe, but they are there to talk to—not to medicate. Also, you do not have to see a psychiatrist to get a prescription for many mental health medications. If you have a primary care physician, you can speak with them to see if a medication can be recommended & prescribed. Many basic medications for depression and anxiety are prescribed without a psychiatrist.

Another quick note—a mental health diagnosis, counseling, and/or medication do not mean that you are “crazy”! Crazy is not a thing. It is a very overused, under-considered word that places judgment where it doesn’t belong. As I am new here and am attempting to avoid soap boxes, I will stop there—but no, you’re not crazy. I’m not crazy. Your quirky neighbor is not crazy. Crazy is not a thing.

If you or someone you love has a mental health diagnosis, know that you are seen, you are heard, and there are those who have an understanding for what you go through each day (another side note—I do everything I can to never say “I understand” because so often we don’t truly understand, we just don’t know what else to say) We will get through this by relying on those we love and trust and seeking support and assistance when we need it. No stigma, no judgement, just doing the best we can to make it from day to day.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW