Tag: stress

Sleep—not enough, too much, tossing, turning…oh my!

Originally posted 12/1/2020

Welcome back to another mental health Monday (posting on Tuesday—sorry for the delay!). Today’s topic is sleep. Sleep and mental health go hand in hand. When our mental state struggles, our sleep patterns also struggle. Sometimes that means not getting enough sleep, and sometimes it means sleeping too much. I have most certainly seen both sides of the coin on sleep. I struggle to go to sleep, stay asleep and sleep restfully when I have a lot of stress at work, concerns with my kids/household/ finances, or am processing through a tough decision. This is very different than the nights that I way up with someone on my mind to take time to pray for—that happens in my world as well, but it is a much more peaceful time of awake than the stewing and stressing I do when I’m anxious about something and struggling to put it away for the night. Those nights are tough. Any sleep I do get feels like a hard-fought battle that leaves me even more tired than when I went to bed.

The flip side to that is the times when sleeping is the only thing I am motivated to do. As I have gone through times of depression in my past, I have learned that the greatest gift I can give myself is to get up and get dressed. In a year of working from home more than ever before, that might mean going from my night pajamas to my day pajamas, but changing clothes is important to my frame of mind. I have learned that staying in bed brings more staying in bed, which very quickly becomes tough for me to motivate myself out of. And, if I am honest, the sleep I get when I enter those times isn’t any better than the sleep when I’m stressed. It is just a lot more lying in bed.

Healthy sleep patterns and sleep routines are crucial to our overall wellbeing, both mentally and physically. Sleep rests our body and mind, rejuvenates our organs and muscles, and gives our multiple, complex systems a chance to grow and strengthen. It is a time when we are out of our own way so our body can do what it needs to do. Our coping skills, immune system, and overall sense of self all benefit from appropriate sleep. Though anyone who knows me well has heard me say that I will sleep when I’m dead because there aren’t enough hours in the day, this couldn’t be further from the truth for my physical and mental health.

In a world of constant input, it is often hard to wind down and get to bed with enough time to get the appropriate amount of sleep. As with other habits, it takes having a plan and being intentional about sticking with it. What that looks like is different for each person. I like to take time to read before I go to bed, sometimes sipping on a cup of tea, sometimes journaling a little bit. Having a time of quiet helps me to fall asleep faster once I am in bed. Experts say that rigorous exercise isn’t a great idea right before bed, but the slow stretching and intentional breathing of an evening yoga routine can be a great way to end the day. Some people enjoy relaxing in a bath to wind down. There are so many options—and different days can end different ways. As long as the activity is calming and doesn’t add stress, it can be a part of the winding down routine. What is important is building the habit to build toward great sleep.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

(((HUGS)))

Originally posted 11/9/2020

Welcome back to Mental Health Monday!! Today I am talking about physical touch. As the pandemic has gone on longer than any of us were really prepared for, one of the biggest struggles that my family, friends, and likely many others are feeling the effect of is a decrease in physical touch. I haven’t always been a person who loves hugs. However, after becoming a parent and studying what a huge need physical touch is to the development of both children and adults, I began to change. Hugs have been commonplace in my personal world with my children and my close friends, as well as with my extended family members. In my professional world, I have also learned the benefit of physical touch in building positive relationships and deescalating potentially serious behavioral situations. Touch is a basic human need that builds trust, gives comfort, helps provide a sense of security, and just makes us feel better in tough circumstances. The pandemic is the toughest circumstance that many of us have been through—whether it is illness, job uncertainty, death, separation, or just exhaustion at how much our routines have changed and how “normal” feels anything but normal. At a time when many of us could significantly benefit from an encouraging hug or even a friendly handshake, we are living in a world of social distancing, touching elbows, and air hugs. For those who are huggers, that is completely insufficient. The huggers of the world are struggling, particularly the ones who live alone and don’t have a family, household, or “pod” of people who they are around regularly.

How do we address this? As I discussed a few weeks ago, it is critically important that we check in on those in our circle—the ones who make up our village. Investments of time, vulnerable conversations, and true listening aren’t substitutes for hugs, but they do help. Acknowledging those feelings as really and valid is important. As I have said in previous posts, my biggest heartache of my grandmother’s passing is that she died alone. Second to that is that I had to wait for 3 weeks before I could see my mother. When I finally got to see her, we were in masks, but we could see each other’s eyes while we talked and were able to share stories and just be in the same place. With others I have been able to spend time with over the last few months, conversations are deeper, and stories are shared—sometimes stories of struggles and sometimes moments of beauty, connection and memories made during this unprecedented time.

I look forward to a time when handshakes and hugs are common again. Until then, we need to convey our support in the ways that we have available to us.  (((Hugs))) to you all!

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

Burnout

Originally posted 11/2/2020

Welcome to another Mental Health Monday! Today’s topic is burnout. I have been doing quite a bit of studying and learning about burnout over the last few months as I am studying positive leadership. I have been dealing with some things in my work life that have caused me to question my leadership methods and skills, and I always believe that learning more can lead to finding solutions. However, in my moments of doubt over who I am as a leader and whether I am effective with those I lead, I have also found myself focused on ways to keep myself from burning out in a job that I love. I truly do love my job, but it is not easy. Working in middle management, I am a person who manages people, who manage people, who manage people, who care for people…my job is not simple. There are a lot of layers, which bring levels of communication, understanding (or misunderstanding!), and direction that can and often are fueled by layers of emotion. As I sit here writing on Sunday night, I am experiencing the feeling that I know is not unique—I feel the tension rising as I start thinking through and preparing for my work week. Again, I love my job, and I love learning about mental health and wellbeing—but I am not immune.

As I have been studying a bit about burnout, there have been several key features that I have come across. I have read articles in Psychology Today, read information from the Mayo Clinic, and am in the process of working through an amazing book entitled Burnout. The common features include physical and mental exhaustion, increased irritability/anger/frustration, and decreased compassion for those impacted by our work. These things are often caused by ongoing stress that doesn’t seem to have a resolution. Based on our current societal climate, this can describe just about anyone. However, those in jobs that require personal interaction, caring and compassion for others seem to be the hardest hit—or at least the most talked about among the current literature. This doesn’t have to just be in the professional/occupational fields—it also includes caregiving for family members, parenting, and relationships. We can experience burnout with those we love at times, just like we can experience burnout in jobs we love.

How do we combat burnout?

The first step is taking the time to recognize and acknowledge it. Once we recognize and acknowledge the feelings that could be indicators of burnout, it is important that we address them so we don’t get stuck in that pattern. The feelings of exhaustion, frustration, and decreased compassion can often lead to feeling guilty (how can I feel this way about someone/something I love?), which can make things even more complicated and can give us more to process.

As we process these feelings, we can then evaluate if there are any stressors that can be eliminated or decreased so we can focus on other things. Have we taken on a role that isn’t ours or could be delegated to someone else? Is there someone who isn’t doing their part that is putting more on us? Are there things we said yes to that aren’t a good fit with the rest of our role? We aren’t always able to diminish our stressors, but it is worth the time to evaluate to see if there is anything that could be adjusted or changed.

After we evaluate and eliminate unnecessary stressors, we can begin to process the stress itself. It is important to look at our coping skills, the things that refresh us, and the time management and margin in our lives to process our stress. This can take many different forms, such as: exercise, nutrition, deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, and engaging in our hobbies. We want to be sure that we don’t try to decrease stress by avoiding or diminishing it. Emotional eating, substance use, and engaging in unhealthy relationships are things that we might try, but ultimately this will cause more stress than it reduces.

Another key factor in combatting burnout is talking with others. Sometimes speaking our feelings out loud to another person can go a long way toward decreasing that stress. We need to be cautious with this—we don’t want to vent to the wrong person in our workplace or circle. The goal of these conversations is to decrease our stress, but we don’t want to increase the stress of others or create an unhealthy or difficult work or relationship environment. Handled well, it can be encouraging to others to hear that you are feeling what they might be feeling, building community and adding to the brainstorming power on how to address the stressors.

Burnout is becoming more and more prevalent in our society as we all push to accomplish more while also facing the uncertainties and unrest of our current culture. By calling it what it is and working to focus on what we are able to change, we can be healthier people and improve our work and home lives.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW

Stress, Worry & Anxiety

Originally posted 9/21/2020

Welcome back to Mental Health Monday! Today’s topic is worry and anxiety. Public health, personal/family health, finances, job security, relationships, injustice, discrimination, politics, and so many other hot topics are at the forefront of an unprecedented time in history. Each of these things individually would be stressful, but added together, they can be overwhelming. These are uncertain times, and with uncertainty come worry and anxiety.

Anxiety can look very different depending on the person and the situation. When I am teaching staff at work about how to recognize and de-escalate crisis in its earliest stages, I tell them to look for any change in behavior in the person with whom they are working. The same is true when looking at anxiety in oneself or in someone we are close to. Anxiety can be subtle, especially as it is first building. We might be struggling to focus—or hyper focused on one thought or idea. We might notice muscle tension or headaches or even an eye twitch. Stress and anxiety can mess with sleep patterns, eating patterns, interactions with others, and our interactions with ourselves.

How do we deal with uncertainty in our world? How do we walk through our day to day life without continuous stress and worry or feeling like we are trudging through deep snow or walking on sand (but not in a fun, beachy way 😉) ? As I have dealt with anxiety in my life, I have recognized a few things that can help:

Be patient

When I am finding that the stress of my life is impacting my day to day life, I first remind myself to be patient. Stress is real. Worry is valid. Anxiety is an acceptable response to stressful circumstances. Owning those feelings and thoughts as real can help me process through them in an intentional way. Taking the time needed to process what is causing the stress and whether or not the circumstances are things I can change or control is important. For those things I can change, I look at what is needed for change to occur. For those things that I can’t, I look at what I can do to handle things productively in the midst of my current circumstances.

Evaluate routine

During times of stress and anxiety, I find myself looking more closely at my routines. Have I gotten out of my typical routine and into “survival mode” to address my stressful circumstances? Sometimes the survival mindset causes more anxiety than it helps. Routine helps me to be intentional and grounded in my day to day world—ensuring that I am acknowledging and relying on the familiar at times when things are uncertain. When I am able to rely on my routine rather than simply surviving my day, I am better able to separate the stressful circumstances in my life from my life as a whole. I can remind myself that circumstances do not have to define who I am—a period of time is not the whole picture of life.

Find fun

Stress can be overwhelming and exhausting. Anxiety can bring frustration and negativity. Sometimes I just have to find some fun. As I am patient with myself and my emotions, I need to remember to look for things that make me laugh, help me feel refreshed, and get me out of my own head. Reading fun fiction, listening to music, watching movies, riding my bike, taking walks, and spending time with friends all help to get me outside myself and give perspective to my stressful circumstance being only a part of my reality. As cliché as it is—sometimes laughter is the best medicine.

Seek help

While it is important to recognize that all periods of stress and anxiety do not have to be a diagnosed “disorder,” it is equally important to recognize when we need additional help. We are complex beings and our feelings and emotions are complex. They occur on a spectrum, sometimes ebbing on their own and at other times needing more help to subside. I am so thankful that progress has been made in the stigma of mental health assistance, but I recognize that there is still a long way to go. Seeking counseling is not a weakness—and often it is more beneficial that expected. Medication can also be a positive step at times, even just in the short term or during a particularly difficult or stressful circumstance. While the prescription bottle comes with a label, it does not put a label on you.

If you or someone you know is experiencing anxiety to the point that it is having a negative impact on day to day life, do not be afraid to seek assistance. Talk to a doctor, a counselor, a mentor—someone you trust to provide guidance during this time. No one needs to struggle alone.

Thanks for reading! 😊 EW