Originally posted 11/9/2020
Welcome back to Mental Health Monday!! Today I am talking about physical touch. As the pandemic has gone on longer than any of us were really prepared for, one of the biggest struggles that my family, friends, and likely many others are feeling the effect of is a decrease in physical touch. I haven’t always been a person who loves hugs. However, after becoming a parent and studying what a huge need physical touch is to the development of both children and adults, I began to change. Hugs have been commonplace in my personal world with my children and my close friends, as well as with my extended family members. In my professional world, I have also learned the benefit of physical touch in building positive relationships and deescalating potentially serious behavioral situations. Touch is a basic human need that builds trust, gives comfort, helps provide a sense of security, and just makes us feel better in tough circumstances. The pandemic is the toughest circumstance that many of us have been through—whether it is illness, job uncertainty, death, separation, or just exhaustion at how much our routines have changed and how “normal” feels anything but normal. At a time when many of us could significantly benefit from an encouraging hug or even a friendly handshake, we are living in a world of social distancing, touching elbows, and air hugs. For those who are huggers, that is completely insufficient. The huggers of the world are struggling, particularly the ones who live alone and don’t have a family, household, or “pod” of people who they are around regularly.
How do we address this? As I discussed a few weeks ago, it is critically important that we check in on those in our circle—the ones who make up our village. Investments of time, vulnerable conversations, and true listening aren’t substitutes for hugs, but they do help. Acknowledging those feelings as really and valid is important. As I have said in previous posts, my biggest heartache of my grandmother’s passing is that she died alone. Second to that is that I had to wait for 3 weeks before I could see my mother. When I finally got to see her, we were in masks, but we could see each other’s eyes while we talked and were able to share stories and just be in the same place. With others I have been able to spend time with over the last few months, conversations are deeper, and stories are shared—sometimes stories of struggles and sometimes moments of beauty, connection and memories made during this unprecedented time.
I look forward to a time when handshakes and hugs are common again. Until then, we need to convey our support in the ways that we have available to us. (((Hugs))) to you all!
Thanks for reading! 😊 EW