Originally posted 12/16/2020
Today was a tough day. There are parts of being a leader that are hard…and then there are parts of being a leader that are really hard. Today was really hard. Being a leader means making difficult decisions and doing the right thing even when it is hard. It means finding the balance of the job we do, the employees we need to support, the deadlines, the accountability, and the myriad of other things involved in leading. As a leader, being human falls pretty low on the list. It is important to be real, but there is a definite difference between being honest and real and being vulnerable and human. It won’t serve those I lead to see my moments of doubt, uncertainty, sadness, and the other emotional ups and downs of being the person who is supposed to have the answers amid uncertainty. Those I lead need to be encourage, empowered, and reminded that things will be ok—because in the long run, that is true. Things will be ok. We need to keep on keeping on and remember that nearly everything is fixable. My doubt won’t be encouraging to those who are looking to me for support. So, my humanness as a leader is reserved for you, my dear readers.
Anytime I am faced with someone under my leadership umbrella who is not open to being led, I doubt my abilities as a leader. As those folks struggle to be successful (or flat out fail to accomplish the job set before them), it is often said that I was too much or not enough. I was too demanding, expected too much, too particular, too intense or I didn’t teach enough, support enough, provide enough resources, cut them enough slack…the list goes on. As much as I know my qualities as a leader are strongest around clear communication of expectations, teaching and support—I am also human. Sometimes I don’t get it right. Did I do enough? Did I miss something? Could I have done more? Should I have done more? Would anything I could have done or not done changed the outcome to something more positive? Those questions all go through my head as I review the situation. It is easy to feel like I am not enough. If the common thread in those who aren’t successful under my leadership is me, then am I not the right fit?
Sometimes being a leader brings sadness. When I see someone who I believe in not reaching the potential I see in them, it makes me sad. I want to see and believe the best in people—and no amount of leadership boundaries will keep that from being a part of who I am. I don’t want to be cynical and skeptical of people. I truly believe that the greatest gift you can give someone you lead is honest feedback and constructive correction when needed. I don’t want to change that, even though I struggle when it doesn’t go how I want it to.
Those are hard days. But, tomorrow is a new day. The hard things don’t change the fact that there is still a job to do, deadlines to meet and people to support. Sad tonight and then back at it tomorrow…
Thanks for reading. 😊 EW