Originally posted 12/14/2020
Time for another Mental Health Monday. It has been a couple of weeks since I have last written. I have been working on a few things, but nothing is ready to post. I haven’t been writing like I was when I started. Work stress, life stress, and the stress that is 2020 has been getting to me over the last few weeks. I’ve been working long hours, not sleeping enough, exercising—but not as regularly as I would like, and just generally been stressed. I has been an ugly combination, really, especially in a time and place when I have to keep on keeping on. It is tough to be motivated to write about mental health, when my own is struggling—or maybe that is the perfect time. It is real. Things are getting to me. I didn’t start this blog because I have answers. I started it to be honest and real about what is going through my head. Whether that is memories of my grandmother—especially now that the memories are what I have of her in my life, spiritual discipline/faith questions, leadership lessons I am learning, or mental health questions, my motivation in writing was to be real. To write about myself—my thoughts, my studies, my experiences—and to be as honest and transparent about things as possible.
I feel guilty at times when I struggle. Though I think we can all agree that 2020 has been quite a dumpster fire and we’re ready to get past all that it has brought, I know that I really don’t have it as badly as many in my world. I have a full-time job that pays my bills—as an essential worker, I certainly haven’t lost hours, pay or job security in this crazy time. I have experienced loss, but my immediate family remains healthy and well. My kids are staying healthy and are able to continue college and employment. It might look different than any of us might want, but it is there. I have resources that I can share with others. I am immensely grateful for what I have, and I am very aware that things could be much worse. The perspective doesn’t make my struggles any less real or valid, but it definitely causes me to feel guilty at times.
If I were talking with anyone else, I would remind them to be patient with themselves, to allow for grace, and to utilize coping skills. I’m much better at seeing that for other people than I am for myself. I know that I need to give myself some grace and to remind myself that it is ok to struggle. Powering through it isn’t always the answer, though it often feels as though it is. I am actively trying to remind myself to extend the same grace to myself that I do to others. We’ll see how that goes.
If you or someone you know is struggling in this season—whether it is the holidays, Covid, 2020 as a whole, or some other life event, stress or emotion, feel free to contact me. Email, Facebook messenger, or a socially distant cup of coffee are all great ways to seek support and be real when real matters most. No one needs to struggle alone.
Thanks for reading! 😊 EW